Things Go Up, Things Go Down; It's All Okay👌 - 10 Reflections from 2024.
Conversations with Georgie #36
👋 Hello Friends,
Happy New Year! This letter is a set of honest reflections, questions and learnings from 2024. I find reflecting on the year to be one of my favourite rituals and the most important way for me to make sense of things, and work out my next directions. This year, the process with Year Compass was speedy, but uncovering the big themes from the year, synthesising them down to 10 and writing them up was the longer part. It seems like 2024 was a big one for learning as this letter is much longer than my reflections from previous years (2020, 2021, 2022 and 2023 - all fun to return to) which both Substack and chatGPT have confirmed! So you may want to save reading till you have a warm cup of coffee ☕️ and somewhere cosy to sit, or a long tube ride (15-20 mins). And if it sparks anything in you, ✍️ share a comment or email me 📥. It makes my day!
Sending (Virtual) Hugs, Love & A Warm Smile,
Georgie 🤗💜
10 Reflections from 2024
1. Things Go Up, Things Go Down 📈
This year was neither great nor bad; yet it had both great and challenging moments. Starting 2024 in the ward of a very basic, rural, non-English-speaking hospital in Bulgaria with suspected appendicitis (which the UK A&E later confirmed was actually an infection), and then spending two weeks exhausted on antibiotics while missing out on my friend’s Reflection Forwards and Backwards retreat experience… was definitely a lowlight. So was finding out that the (spiritual) teacher I have worked with intensely for the last five years had stage 5 cancer, on the very day we arrived on retreat. Both moments brought waves of sadness, frustration, anger, and fear. Yet even within grief, I found the greatest love.
There were also plenty of peak moments, full of love and a sense of fulfillment. Being filmed for a Dutch documentary about talking to strangers was super fun. Leading facilitation at the Sandbox Summit in Vietnam was incredibly rewarding, as were delivering various workshops and programs. There were also many small wins: moments where I finally took action on things I had been avoiding, showing myself that I can make progress. And there were small moments of meaning, gratitude, and joy: daily circle singing at a dance retreat, unbelievable chemistry and attunement on the dance floor, and quality time with close friends and family.
And then, of course, there were plenty of “medium” moments, as I like to call them—where things were neither great nor bad. This year I can see how many opportunities I’ve been given to build my readiness to meet life in all its rich colors and textures. Things will go up, and they will also go down. My maximizer in life wants meaningful peak moments, but an honest life includes it all—the full spectrum of experience. It’s good to design a life you want, AND there will always be a lot that is unknown and undesired, which also needs to be welcomed. A highlight for 2024 is an increased deep okayness and humility with life as it unfolds.
2. It Could Be So Much Worse: Be Grateful for Your Health 💪
It doesn’t seem like a year can pass without me dealing with some shitty health issues. There was my Bulgarian hospital trip over NYE last January, and a few other old niggles that found their way back into my life this year.
And yet, I end the year profoundly grateful for a body that mostly works. Most days I am able to seize the day; my mind can engage in cognitively demanding tasks, my body can bust playful moves on dance floors, handle strength-based workouts at the gym without sending me back to bed, and I can fall asleep at night knowing I will generally wake up restored and full of energy.
To many, this may seem like a basic expectation or norm. But to those who are chronically sick, a good day contains both feelings of surprise and joy—and the fear that it could all disappear again tomorrow. This has especially come to mind as I witnessed a close friend’s life consumed by chronic fatigue last year. My own memories of living with this illness are less than five years old—recent enough to touch the difficult feelings and feel great appreciation for the energy I have now. The gift of ill health, post-recovery, is access to feelings of deep gratitude for present-moment energy, lack of pain, and general mobility.
During my annual finances exercise, I’m always astounded by how much it costs to simply stay in good health: gym memberships, physiotherapy, osteopathy. In some ways, I resent paying for these services, but in the greater scheme of things, I am profoundly grateful for the health I enjoy today. This is the price I choose to pay for the freedom and wealth of good health. And speaking of paying the price—quitting coffee last summer made a world of difference to my energy and mood. I still indulge twice a week, but the first challenging week was well worth it!
3. You Don’t Have to Do Everything 📋
I used to believe that to be a proper “entrepreneur/researcher,” I needed to do everything—especially if I was operating on a lean budget. Hiring a VA during busy periods a few years ago helped me soften this belief, as I realized how some tasks take an incredible amount of cognitive headspace, as well as time.
However, there were still other tasks I felt I needed to get around to doing, like updating my very old websites. These were holding me back from sharing them publicly and therefore harming my ability to get clients. Clearly, getting around to doing things is not a great strategy. Three years passed with little progress, and all the guilt and icky feelings around it only led to more avoidance. So, I decided to write a list of everything I was avoiding in my life. Using the Eisenhower Matrix, I marked each item as either “delegate,” “eliminate/delete,” or “schedule.”
I started proactively searching for people to help me, and that simple intention increased my awareness of those already nearby. I found a new (excellent) VA and website designer through my friend Haneen. My filmmaker friend Finn, who happened to share in a WhatsApp group that he was now available for freelance work, is now creating a video reel for my website. I invited my previous course alumni to act as mentees and support me in delivering programs and designing useful tools. Of course, ChatGPT has also been an incredible extra assistant and thought partner.
I now feel relief and pride around my updated, shiny personal and Trigger websites, and I’m excited about the video reel to come. That momentum even inspired me to tackle non-fun activities like sorting four years of Google files into folders—a task I completed in two 2.5-hour slots. Importantly, this momentum created new evidence of what is possible when I let go of the belief that I need to do it all: more headspace and better-quality outcomes.
4. The Next Best Time is Now 🚀
Some skills are necessary for an effective working life. Touch typing is one of them. When I think about what lies ahead—PhD papers, my thesis, blogs, letters like this, and books—it’s clear that fast typing will be a huge advantage. Although my “hunt-and-peck” two-finger strategy has been somewhat effective for most of my life (I even managed to write 40k words in two months for my 30 Lists of 30 project in 2022), it’s not fast. This leads to impatience when I can’t keep up with the speed of my thoughts or verbal exchanges, and procrastination ensues. If I’ve ever taken a while to respond to your long email, this is why! It’s also one of the reasons I love voice notes. Lastly, I’ve learned from friends’ experiences how damaging RSI (repetitive strain injury) can be—it can require months away from work to recover.
The idea of learning this skill almost from scratch (I started briefly during the pandemic in 2020) felt frustrating and embarrassing. Why hadn’t I learned it as a child in school? And now it’s yet another thing I have to make space for daily.
Putting my whining aside, I recognized that there are many things in life we wish we had learned yesterday. Take investing, for instance, or learning languages—it’s generally agreed the earlier, the better. But here we are. These are my circumstances, so there’s no point fighting them. It’s best to direct my energy into action. The next best time is now.
So in 2024 I designed a schedule that felt possible: 15 minutes most weekdays—enough time to make meaningful progress, but not so long that I could use “I’m too busy” as an excuse. The free program Keybr has been great for building up by letter, tracking my speed and accuracy, and setting daily goals. It’s amazing how motivating small quantitative goals can be.
While I didn’t hit my desired typing speed of 70 WPM by the end of 2024, my 21 hours of practice got me to an average of 45 WPM. That’s still within beginner ranges and fast enough for me to switch to touch typing for everyday use. I’m even writing this letter with these new skills!
Surprisingly, I’ve found those 15 minutes of typing practice to be a fantastic time for diffuse thinking. Like cooking, exercising, or showering, the reduced cognitive load creates a relaxed space for my brain to generate new connections and insights. I now schedule typing practice when I need to process or reflect on something.
5. Share Experiences, Not Catch-Ups 💃
I love a good conversation as a way to get to know someone. But this practice only goes so far in relationship-building. It tends to limit connections to discussing ideas and telling stories—often about things that happened in your life without the other person. These “catch-ups” have their place, but after a few rounds, they can feel repetitive. I crave connection and freshness, which comes through shared experiences.
Shared experiences not only provide new stimuli to discuss and unlock more of our potential but also create memories that only we share together. That is intimate. Last year, I began focusing on relationship-building through group activities: dance, skiing, workshops, poetry events, co-design sessions, galleries, and travel adventures.
I also focused on frequency (regular weekly or monthly group activities) and depth (longer events like 2-3 day festivals, gatherings, or retreats). Both strategies were incredibly effective because they allowed for multiple interactions and deeper, varied experiences. My work in 2025 is to find or create more of both. This requires intentionality, as we no longer live in village communities that naturally create these conditions.
6. Fighting, Finance, Fun, and Frequency 🥷
2024 brought the theme of conflict (or fighting!) to the forefront of my experience. Not only did I collaboratively design and deliver a new program, Transform Conflict into Connection, with Haneen, but I also had plenty of opportunities to practice our methods in my close professional and personal relationships. One of my values is to “walk the talk” as much as possible. I find this very humbling, and it makes me a better teacher and leader as I get closer to the lived experiences of my clients. Testing the edges and scope of tools while understanding the nuances needed is invaluable.
Of course, the practice of conflict itself isn’t always easy. It can test both the relationship and one’s sense of well-being, especially when capacity has already been reached. I’m happy to report that I’ve worked through most of it and emerged wiser, with a few key insights.
1.💰Finance conversations—whether with collaborators, flatmates, or friends—can be challenging but incredibly revealing. They uncover how we approach abundance versus scarcity, our values around fairness and generosity, and preferences around consent and choice.
2.⌛️Frequent check-ins are immensely helpful for discussing potentially contentious subjects like feedback, triggers, or preferences. Meeting weekly or bi-weekly for 30 minutes with flatmates or collaborators creates space for important conversations that aren’t urgent but need attention. Knowing there’s a regular slot for these discussions can reduce stress and improve psychological safety.
3.😜 Fun is in service of connection. Fighting often happens because we care about the relationship and believe it can improve. It’s easy to lose sight of this in the heat of conflict, which is why scheduling joyful activities is so important. These shared experiences remind us of why we’re investing energy fighting for the relationship and help bring lightness and intimacy back into the connection.
7. Make a Strong Ask, Then Let Go ✋
This year, I wrote three applications: one to attend The Royal Designers Retreat, one for a free festival ticket, and one for a retreat with a spiritual teacher I’ve wanted to work with deeply for years (and was rejected last time). Knowing how competitive these opportunities were, I had low expectations and nearly didn’t apply for two of them. On the day of the deadlines, I decided to give it my all and let fate decide. For the third application (with the spiritual teacher), I worked on it more thoroughly over several weeks.
I couldn’t believe my luck when all three applications were accepted. The relief, joy, and gratitude I felt—alongside a sense of astonishment—were overwhelming. I even cried when I received the third acceptance, as it held deep personal significance.
Reflecting on these experiences, I’m learning about the power of asking: making a strong case for something and then completely letting go of the outcome. You can’t get what you don’t ask for, and even when you try, rejection is still possible. The best approach is to assume you won’t get it and then be delightfully surprised. As Morgan Housel says in Same as Ever, “The first rule of happiness is low expectations.”
8. Stop Trying So Hard: Awareness is Effortless 🧘♀️
My spiritual journey last year led me to a counterintuitive realization: it’s not about trying less; it’s about not trying at all. Everything is already happening without our conscious effort. Our senses are always experiencing the world—seeing, smelling, feeling, thinking, breathing—all without intention. And that my trying is getting in the way.
At first, I struggled with the tension between effort and effortlessness. Isn’t meditation an intentional act requiring some level of focus? Perhaps there’s effort in initiating meditation, but I’m now seeing the practice as a process of letting go—of trusting my experience and curiously noticing the awareness that is already happening, effortlessly.
The impact has been profound: a deep sense of relaxation, peace, and a spacious, expansive experience of awareness that feels fresh and interesting.
9. There Isn’t Only One Way 🔄
Decision-making is hard. Over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time identifying my values, preferences, and boundaries, and learning to track emotional cues. Yet, sometimes I still don’t know what to do. One of my intentions for 2024 was to spend less time deliberating on decisions. It’s not just time that’s sacrificed; the cognitive and emotional load can also be immense. I might spend days or weeks on something, and because my brain loves to solve a problem, it unconsciously spends every working and non-working day on that challenge. This isn’t a good use of my problem-solving capacity; I need my brain to be focused on solving the big, complex problems I’m presented with in my PhD or work.
A few principles have served me well:
1.👎 If it’s not a “f*ck yes,” it’s a no. For major opportunities like travel and expensive things, I rely on emotional alignment and excitement to guide me. If your body doesn’t feel open and excited about this possibility then you probably don’t want it that much.
A lot of the time the reason I struggle to make the decision is because I am lacking some kind of data. I can’t make a clear assessment on whether it is a good use of my time and energy because I don’t know how I will feel during the experience so this is where the others principles come into play.
2. 🗒️Default opt-ins/outs. For smaller decisions (e.g. attending a music jam, dance session, evening talk, the gym) I use rules based on past experiences. For example, exercise is always an opt-in (unless I’m ill), and taking taxis or drinking alcohol are typically opt-out.
3.➡️Focus on direction, not the exact path. For novel or uncertain decisions, I’ve found that overthinking doesn’t help. What’s needed is openness and experimentation—taking action to gather information rather than waiting for perfect clarity. One way to simplify this process is by asking: Does this align with the general direction I’m aiming for right now? For example, cultivating community, exploring career opportunities in climate work, or improving health are broad goals that make it easier to take steps and build momentum without requiring an exact path. Specificity can be limiting when the terrain is unfamiliar, so framing decisions as experiments—and remembering most choices are reversible—can reduce pressure.
Last year, I even tested this approach by heading to the airport with a small suitcase, an open URL ready to buy a flight, and a call to a trusted friend to help me think aloud. In the end, I didn’t go because I couldn’t align all parts of myself to a yes.
4.↔️ There isn’t only one way. Maybe both options are great. Different paths can lead to effective or enjoyable outcomes for different reasons.
5. 📊Accept a 20% error margin. Making risks in life is necessary for advancing our individual and collective growth, so it's generally a good trait to have (assuming some level of pre-action analysis and risk mitigation practices). But the price to pay for getting even amazing outcomes, is c.20% bad ones. We can’t know all the complex factors, the future is hugely unknowable and emergent, and human behaviour is quite irrational. We will make mistakes. Best expect some errors and let go of the guilt, frustration and any other feelings associated with a poor outcome.
10. Gratefulness = Wealth 💖
Despite the pessimistic picture the news paints, there is a lot going right in the world at the moment; low unemployment, no domestic wars, increased household wealth, lower mortality rates, incredible innovation (as Morgan Housel writes). But it is hard to notice because it's gradual, we forget how bad things can be or were, and because we aren’t paying attention to the good stuff enough. This applies both to our own individual growth and also to the world. One of last year’s intentions (and this coming one too) was/is to change my lenses because they have been tainted in a way that is both inaccurate and unhelpful. To instead practice looking with fresh eyes of gratitude and abundance for what is beautiful, impactful, and effective in the world. To focus on the small things as much as the large. To realise that life itself is pretty incredible. To realise that my life is pretty incredible. If we look at the idea of wealth extending far beyond our financial assets, to include mental, physical, social, time (from the book The 5 Types of Wealth), then many of us are fortunate enough to be ‘living the dream’ (a new phrase I’m loving from my friend Cesar, who in turn heard this from his friend).
In 2024, I facilitated way more gratitude experiences for myself and others than usual. These rituals, whilst often brief, were complete state changers, opening up in me feelings of deep awe, expansion, abundance and appreciation. I was frequently moved to tears by simple acts of kindness in my day, the colour of the trees, and the awareness of how amazing my bed is. I don’t need more. I need to feel the fulness of what is already here, emerging and changing in every moment. This is where my and our collective work is. And I’m excited to dive into this more in 2025.
What happened in 2024: A Few Celebrations 🙌
I’ve been practicing acknowledging, speaking aloud and feeling pride in achievements to increase self-love and fight the doom-and-gloom nothing is enough narrative everywhere! I encourage you too to outwardly explore celebrating achievements in your own life.
Work 🧑💼
Trained 33 happy clients through 3+ cohorts of my Transformational Conversations Programme and a new training programme (with Haneen) - Transform Conflict into Connection, ran workshops for organisations like UCL School of Management, Mixcloud and Art-K. Completed a big research and design thinking and research project for Eurail.
PR - Appeared in articles for Vox, Slade and a Dutch documentary by VPRO Tegenlicht
Wrote 8 Conversations with Georgie letters on Substack: Experiencing the EOY Curse Again & 8 Reflections from 2023 🤔, Clearing the Decks and Sailing Straight into the Wind ⛵️, Painting the Tapestry of our Lives with all the Colours 🎨, Leaning into Avoidance ⚔️, Gatherings. Conversation. Energy. GSD. Realisations. Repeat. 🔄, 33 Pieces of Gratitude Turning 33 🥳, Why We Need In Person Retreats🏡, Putting Money Where My Mouth Is 💷
Made a commitment to writing my book by signing a contract with an proposal editor
Hired support and delegated a lot more, which resulted in 2 updated websites I am finally proud about! TC & GN
Finally got round to sorting 4 years of files into folders!
Updated my weekly reflections template
PhD 🎓
Had my first conference paper accepted, and presented it receiving great feedback
Attended 3 PhD courses, and spent more time at Imperial, building relationships with other academics
Community Building, Leadership & Relationships 🪴
Recruited a team of 4 to become ambassadors for Sandbox London, finally handing over the reins after 3.5 years
Facilitated two moving closing circles for 80-200 people at community summits and two new workshops - combining circling with meditation awareness practices
Deepened friendships with close friends at home through calls and hangouts, and choosing to travel less and be more available. Also through showing up to a lot of honest conversations with collaborators, flatmates and romantic interests.
Committed to re-cultivating community in London, by attending a few UK-based festivals, weekly Contact Improv classes, hosting a series of dinners (around polarity), and gathering for mentor/friends in the conversation scene
Growth, Learning, Health, Wellbeing, Travel & Relationships 🗺️
Attended 5 retreats and completed a three-year group programme of inner spiritual and personal development work. Deepened my love for all my parts, for forgiveness and increased my capacity to feel disappointment, loss and failure.
Created space for myself to explore my paradigm more by re-started therapy, and engaged in a few coach-swapping sessions
Finally quit my addiction to coffee in the summer, limiting myself to 2 a week
Attended 96 exercise classes (a mix of HIT, strengths, spinning, pilates), an increase influenced by joining a new gym
Travelled to 11 different countries, including four new places: Bulgaria, Singapore, Japan, Finland
Consistently practiced touch typing, increased my speed to 45 WPM
Consistently saved every month
A Parting Poem 📝
“Be soft in your practice. Think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall. Follow the stream, have faith in its course. It will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there. It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices. Just follow it. Never let it out of your sight. It will take you.”
— Sheng-yen (found via Tim Ferriss)