Happy November! Month 11 is here already, just like that. Enjoy taking a 5 minute ☕ and breather from your tasks to peruse my thoughts, learnings, updates and see what you feel curious about. Let me know - I love your emails and was delighted to receive so many after my last letter! 🙏 . As you can see👇, I’m having fun learning how to make GIFs! I hope you enjoyed the Guy Fawkes Night fireworks as much I as did 🎆.
👋 Hello Friends,
A friend of mine, Khuyen, hosted a nourishing and reflective dinner with me recently and asked everyone to share ‘something they have recently been open to’ as part of their introduction.
In case you’re wondering, this is not your usual introduction, but a much more juicy way to get to know everyone than sharing job titles!
When I pondered the question, I couldn’t find one specific thing I had opened up to but instead my mind showed me images of closing doors. I remembered one of the roles I had formally announced my resignation from a few days before.
So I shared ‘I’m beginning to become open to closure’. 🚪
I feel like I am often open to trying out new things, but closure feels somewhat new. It requires an awareness that something is past its time, a decision to pause and the courage to follow through and communicate that even when it might disappoint others.
This can be hard. But it is so important to recognise that everything needs an end. We keep changing. We are not the people we used to be.
I am beginning to realise that if I want something fresh, which I do, first there has to be space. 🫙
And space feels a little like emptiness, wasting time, nothingness - feelings I needed (but didn’t want to) experience this month. I’m realising that if I can be with all of these tricky feelings, this is my doorway into the present moment. Experiencing the beauty of everything just as it is.
My intuition has been driving this clearing out process. Physically - clearing out my wardrobe, sorting books, throwing out dead plants. But also emotionally - asking myself if projects and relationships are bringing more conflict or heaviness than joy.
Whilst I am no longer dreaming of the home I own that is ready for me to move into, I am living this metaphor. Imagining I am moving in to the beautiful home in 2023, I’m asking what do I want to through away or leave behind? ‘If it is not a f**k yes, then do I really want to bring it into my new ‘home’? ‘What is definitely coming with me? What do I most looking forward to about this home? What do I want to design into the space that is joyful? Thanks to Marie Kondo here for her inspiration.
👉 I invite you too to list all the things in your life that take up space (projects, relationships, physical items) and give them a green, amber or red light🚦. The red lights need to be removed. The ambers need to be adapted somehow, cut down or removed. And the green lights need to be celebrated. 🙌
F**k YES to spending our days (and therefore lives) on the things that make us feel alive! 🔥
Sending (Virtual) Hugs, Love & A Warm Smile,
Georgie 🤗💜
Helping Your Future Self ➡️
I’ve been thinking a lot about the ‘short-cuts’ we make in the moment to save time that don’t serve our future selves. And the opposite - the actions we take now to help our future self.
Sometimes I find myself taking half a day sorting through months of finances, wondering why I didn’t keep to my weekly 30 mins Friday spreadsheet update.
Needing to empty the dishwasher in the middle of the day after lunch when I am in a rush to get to my next call. Leaving the washing up until the end of the day when I am heading out in a rush.
Squeezing out one last task in the afternoon only to discover I have run out of time for that break to go for a run that I really need for my physical and mental wellbeing.
You get the idea.
Often when we experience a seamless and successful week it is because past us followed a set of systems to serve future us.
I started writing a list of things I do that serve my future self:
Starting the day uplifted, energised and awake having been for a walk in the park to write my reflections, and with my phone turned off until 9am.
Emptying the dishwasher as I make my morning coffee.
Having my exercise class already in my diary in each week at the same times, so I don’t have to use mental willpower to coordinate the when, what and whether.
A standing order called ‘Save for future G’ leaving my account on the 1st each of month.
Writing everything down in my notes in the moment(e.g. recommendations along with the name of the person who suggested it), or to do list before I forget it.
Taking 20 mins on Fridays to clear my downloads folder and update my CRM.
Scheduling in one rest day (Sunday) and one rest evening where I allow myself to do absolutely nothing or whatever I feel in the moment.
Zero calls in the morning (except 1 day a week) to concentrate on deep work tasks.
Scheduling in the ‘reflection’ session of the observe, execute, reflect continuous improvement cycle every Saturday morning, allowing me to start the weekend on a high of gratitude, new ideas and learnings that I can take into the week ahead.
Putting things away in the right place (e.g. chargers, water bottle, snacks, keys, painkillers in my everyday rucksack) so I am ready to go without the last minute faff.
Scheduling at least one joyful, creative or connected thing a week to look forward to, especially after tasks I don’t want to do.
👉What do you do to serve your future self? What can you do to serve them?
A good way to identify things you can change is to notice the moments when you resent your past self for leaving something so late.
Random Celebrations 🙌
I’m a big believer in the value of celebrating all the small bits of progress we make. It breaks the ‘world is pessimistic cycles’, enables gratitude for ourselves and ourselves to arise, deepens intrinsic motivation to keep going and inspires others to do likewise!
I learnt a new mental model from my friend Ollie (🙏), which I loving using with clients. Inversion theory is a powerful thinking tool for finding the things that get in the way of us achieving our goals. ‘Instead of asking ‘‘How do I have a great career?’ ask ➡️ ‘how do I ensure my job makes me feel depressed and unfulfilled?’ or ‘How do I increase my focus and productivity ➡️ ‘how I ensure I end up distracted and unproductive?’
Presenting my PhD Research Proposal plan to my Research group for the first time, and feeling a tad nervous - a great sign that I am stretching myself.
Hearing joyful transformative feedback from clients taking my Transformational Conversations Programme ( I just finished running the virtual 6 week course and am midway through the 4 week)
Feeling in my element delivering in person training on meaningful conversations to Mixcloud teams and seeing students at UCL deeply connect during a Trigger Conversations Deep Conversations session during their induction week.
Co-organising and co-facilitating a very rich and full countryside weekend retreat for 25 members of the London and global Sandbox Hub with so much gratitude given and received!
Choosing not to lose trust in humanity when I had my phone snatched from my hand in central London. Feeling grateful for all the people who were there to support.
Consumable Delights 😋
✍️Article - The Tail End by Tim Urban (Wait but Why)
‘‘I’ve been thinking about my parents, who are in their mid-60s. During my first 18 years, I spent some time with my parents during at least 90% of my days. But since heading off to college and then later moving out of Boston, I’ve probably seen them an average of only five times a year each, for an average of maybe two days each time. 10 days a year. About 3% of the days I spent with them each year of my childhood.
Being in their mid-60s, let’s continue to be super optimistic and say I’m one of the incredibly lucky people to have both parents alive into my 60s. That would give us about 30 more years of coexistence. If the ten days a year thing holds, that’s 300 days left to hang with mom and dad. Less time than I spent with them in any one of my 18 childhood years.’’
I keep coming back to this really rich article about time. How much time we have on this planet and how little there really is when you start examining how many days we actually have left doing the non-everyday activities or seeing family and friends who don’t live with us.
📚 Book - Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block
‘If we continue to invest in individuals as the primary target of change we will spend our primary energy on this and never fully invest in communities’.
This book is full of my highlights! I love the author’s articulation of why social fabric matters and specifically how we can help individuals become empowered citizens through their building community.
Thanks Khuyen for the recommendation.
📺 Series - WeCrashed - I’m a few episodes in to exploring the story behind the rise and fall We Work. So fascinating to see the weaving of Adam Neumann’s drive, narcissism and charisma as key ingredients in the speedy global growth of the company.
A Parting Quote 📝
"Before you try to increase your willpower, try to decrease the friction in your environment."
- James Clear