Happy October! If you’re wondering where I and this letter have been for the last 3 months then the short answer is something like ‘Off Adventuring’. I took the time to explore life away from a computer 🖥️, get back in the learning and growth arena 💡, and run with flow rather than goals e.g. GIF below … at a conference in Bilbao, we made the spontaneous excellent decision to Uber to the beach and catch the sunset 20 mins before it set 🌞.
👋 Hello Friends,
Long time no speak. I hope you missed me 😛.
I appreciate the nudges to get back to the ‘pen’.
I have missed writing these letters and there is certainly some level of inner conflict I’m experiencing about taking the longest writing break that I have taken since starting Conversations with Georgie back in March 2020, as I travelled through 🇪🇸🇫🇷🇺🇸🇸🇪🇩🇪🇬🇷🇵🇹 with brief spells (mostly spent washing laundry and sleeping) in 🇬🇧!
Some things fell off the bandwagon (e.g. book proposal). Others were added as new plans emerged from the flow of life. I guess that is what a Sabbatical is all about… creating space to ride the waves of opportunities that are actually here. 🌊
It is with a sense of satisfaction, completion, and some sadness that I declare my sabbatical officially over. I learnt a lot. I’m grateful to my past self for gifting me it, because I needed this space to say yes to exploring, get perspective, to reconnect with humans and nature and re-energise. And prepare for a new chapter of my life that is apparently beginning… ➡️
I say apparently because I keep experiencing dreams about a recurring theme. In my dreams there is this beautiful, large, aesthetically pleasing home in a affluent area of town that I apparently own, but don’t live in. 🏘️ I either forget that own I it or I feel it is too nice to live in, and I don’t want to have to choose what to pack and bring with me.
A few weeks ago it suddenly hit me that this new house represent me. My soul. My untapped aspects of self. ✨
I’m choosing to live in a box in my dreams, when I could stretch out and grow into a new home. That is already there, waiting for me to move in.
It is a beautiful metaphor, right?
And whilst I love the ambiguous mystery of it all, I also love clarity (and action steps - this is the Project Manager part speaking!). So the next few months are going to be about translating and integrating this message. What would it mean for me to move in? What needs to go, what needs to stay, what opportunities are possible that I never even dreamed of?
Maybe this is a good moment for you too to analyse your dreams - what themes keep emerging for you? What messages might they be delivering?
Looking forward to reconnecting in November.
Sending (Virtual) Hugs, Love & A Warm Smile,
Georgie 🤗💜
P.S. I really enjoy replying to everyone who writes to me, and continue to be surprised how much these interactions can lead to, so please keep saying ‘hi’ 👋.
31 Things ✨
There have been a lot of insights, experiences and inner shifts happening over the last 3 months so to celebrate my now very belated 31st birthday, here are 31 things that happened in the last 3 months and what I learnt from them. Enjoy!
💪 After 2 intense programmes working with the body, authenticity and the present moment, I began to reclaim my power. I think I have been holding back from really owning my desires and abilities, waiting for opportunities to find me rather than seeking them out and not expressing fully my joy for fear of it being too much. I’ve realised that I want to have a strong positive influence on the world and that others see that in me too, and they trust it. There is a difference between liberatory power (power to create) and supremacist power (power over people, things). I need to learn that it is okay to really put myself out there, and that I can absolutely trust myself to stay in integrity as I step into positions of influence.
✊On an embodied awakening retreat, I felt like I had choice taken away from me and that led me to discover how important freedom is for me and why. In order to stay safe, I have always created escape routes from experiencing three feelings I really dislike - disempowerment (which feels like a lack of freedom), along with wasting time, letting people down. Growth in this area will look like being able to be with these tricky feelings and not change them.
💰At a gathering discussing the future, I discovered my subconscious patterns and beliefs around money, by playing The Money Game developed by Peter Koenig. I highly recommend it to discover your relationship to scarcity, abundance, giving, attachment and boundaries.
🤯 I surrendered to my body and let it ‘‘speak’’ in a group sharing circle, held by a Shamanic facilitator who had such great intuition about how to energetically help me release a great feeling of longing held in my whole body. Super intense, powerful and hard to really explain in words.
💡 Speaking truth to power often comes with a force, which means we often end up criticising ‘how it is delivered’ and not ‘what the message is’, when a softer delivery is more easily ignored. Seeing this happen in a group circle, I began to see how my desire for good self-aware communication can hold me back from connecting with the message behind it.
⛔ I learnt that I don’t always trust someone to receive my ‘no’ but that this trust is quickly built when a few ‘nos’ are both acknowledged and celebrated (e.g. I understand, thank you for taking care of yourself).
😂 During an emotional release exercise, exploring joy, anger and sadness I was surprised to discover that my physical expression of joy is actually bigger, more intense and more alive than my anger. I have been holding myself back in expressing my aliveness…
⚠️ I witnessed imperfect leadership and what it means for leaders to return to a place of humility. What a relief it is to know that leaders will always mess up at some point! The key then is to set up the process for what happens when you do.
🛡️At the same retreat I discovered that conflict isn’t always resolved. There will always be multiple perspectives - some will be served and others not. We are not trying to eradicate the discomfort of darkness but learn to be with it. The most important part is to stay connected in the conflict.
🪷I finally tapped into and felt my beauty, which is an energy. Part of the reason it’s hard to experience ourselves as love or beauty is because they are infinite and limitless, and therefore hard to touch the edges or find the door to it.
😞 I struggled meeting myself when I messed up at the things I know I am good at (e.g. interpersonal relations). Instead of connecting with self, I relied on needing to be seen in my emotions by others who could hold that space. This is an area I can grow in.
🐐 Reading ‘Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire and How to Want What You Need’ reminded me how humans have ritualistically always needed scapegoats to sacrifice when things go wrong. Hence why we turn on our leaders. We initially used sacrifices as a symbolic means to confessing our sins. In replacement of this, especially when the blame is the system not an individual, we need some form of collective catharsis to release our sorrow and pain safely.
🤢 After recently getting ill with shingles and experiencing fairly intense nerve-pain, I met a fear that the pain would never leave (it can last months or years, yikes!). It gave me great me perspective - empathy for those who are chronically unwell and huge appreciation that most of the time most of my body works and that is something to celebrate!!
🚜 I discovered a new meaning of my name. Georgie means ‘girl from the farm’ and I’ve never really felt connected to farming. At an Authentic Relating Course I received beautiful feedback from a fellow participant on how they perceived me in the form a poem: Hunger to cultivate // Eager to Harvest // Also the shepherd. It wasn’t until a month later though, when explaining meanings of our names at a gathering, that the metaphor landed and felt so true.
⌛ I wanted to find my edge in the courses I attended. One of my edges is my struggle to accept what I consider wasted time or opportunities. I need to learn to be with disappointment and accept that the interactions or experiences I do get can give me something else. This was super valuable.
🍆 There is are so many stories and so much societal shame around the body and sexuality. At ISTA, I began to meet these beliefs and start to unravel them. There is much more to go….
🚶♀️The body is amazing, and often gets undervalued by the mind. I discovered a new sense of safety, coming from my root, and how to tap into my bodies’ amazing intuition (e.g. decision making from your head, heart, gut and root).
📆 ‘‘De-loading’ sabbatical-esque phases when you ‘take your foot off the gas from batches of work’ (to use Tim Ferriss’ phrase) are the way I perform best and the way I want to live my life. It allows space for rest, perspective, and new ideas to emerge.
👚I emptied my wardrobe and only put back in the items that made me feel alive - letting go of clothes I wore when I was 16 years’ old (and surprising still fit!) and making space for the new. Such a simple action to start to create space for new identities.
🧰 After experiencing a whole host of spiritual and self-development tools and philosophies, I am realising that there really is not one modality or tool that helps us discover ourselves and the world. Everyone has their own path and process.
👩💼I finally hired a new VA, after sitting on it for way too long, and am already feeling lighter and better supported. I realise I need to delegate more and not spend hours over-thinking it.
💎 I turned 31, celebrating my ‘30 + 1’ birthday with friends, with the feeling of wealth and appreciation. Wealth of friends, health, opportunities… This is a great thing to celebrate and I would like to ensure I take stock of this more frequently.
🗺️ I’ve realised that the beauty of travelling is that it breaks up monotomous routines and habits that restrict you. And the challenge of travelling is that it breaks up useful routines, habits and systems that serve you (e.g. exercise, good sleep!).
🙏🏻 Being independent is not something to strive for - we need to get better at asking and receiving. Except for my research conference, I spent almost every night of my global travels being hosted by friends new and old and whilst it wasn’t always easy to ask, people love being able to give.
🪜Building momentum is the most amazing and simple way to tap into my intrinsic motivation to do stuff. To move forward all we need are small consistent steps that are celebrated.
🎓 I passed my first PhD milestone - my Research Proposal has been approved! It feels like a relief to now have a plan for the next 4-6 years.
🎩 At a small festival I experienced navigating the trickyness of large group dynamics. The introvert in me often feels a little overwhelmed and un-seen, unless I give myself a role. e.g. being a facilitator, server, etc. For community planners, or experience designers, giving people proactive roles or ‘hats’ they can wear completely shift mindsets and break barriers to connection.
🔮 The bands of tightness around my head and now neck and chest continue to release as stronger flows of prana energy move through the system. I’m learning to allow this to happen without getting attached to it happening faster, which is definitely a desire I have.
❤️🔥 Fire & Heart - that’s how someone described my essence at a retreat - and it landed with me because it marries both the open kindness (feminine) and strong-action focus (masculine) that I see as yin and yang in life. I see a future programme in the making around the principles…
🗓️ Attending a variety of gatherings and retreats run by different communities really highlighted to me how important intentionality is to get the most out of the short time together. Balancing the art of structure and emerging is hard - but I constantly felt that too much is left to the notion of ‘let it happen organically’. Sure, sometimes magic happens but I would argue that this isn’t the majority of time and this magic is reliant on a really strong culture pre-existing.
💤 Rest days continue to be one of the most valuable and yet frustratingly annoying additions to my life systems - I generally spend Sundays sleeping, de-caffeinated and tired, doing very little, thinking I am wasting precious time and feeling sorry for myself. But boy do they make the rest of the week more productive, upbeat and energised. The sacrifices we make for our future selves….
Recent Articles & a TV Appearance 📺
1. Channel 4 News: How the Queen Became The Master of Small Talk
I'm excited to share that I've been working with ITV's Political Editor Gary Gibbon (also a wonderful conversationalist and human!) to put together a short film highlighting how the Queen was so good at making small talk. It's been a real honour to help highlight and unpack one of the many ways she was much an incredible leader and human being. 💜
What made the late Queen such a great conversationalist, able to connect with everyone?
After analysing several clips of the late Queen chatting with soldiers, the general public, school children and others, I can confirm that she has that connection superpower and one of her favourite conversation tools is....
🪞 Linguistic mirroring
She was excellent at repeating back the exact words her conversation partner used. Making them feel seen, understood, appreciated, meeting them equally and encouraging them to say more... Such a simple simple 'trick' which has an enormous impact. Along with labelling, mirroring is the go to tool for negotiation and persuasion (just ask Christopher Voss!).
And they are also my favourite tool for going deep, fast, in conversation (people assume that questions are more effective at this, but questions are a much riskier approach). It's cool to have something in common with the late Queen!
The Guardian: Four minutes of small talk can reveal key personality traits, study says
BBC Radio Oxford - Thurs 29th Oct 11.35am (Chatting about the value of ‘high quality) small talk with presenter Kat.
Consumable Delights 😋
✍️ Article - Don’t Steer With Guilt
‘‘Guilt is very costly when activated, so if it's getting activated regularly, then you're placing it on the wrong branches of possibility…‘if you find yourself regularly experiencing guilt, then you're using guilt incorrectly..’’
A super interesting article about when and how guilt is helpful for motivation, and when it isn’t.
📚 Book - How to Live: 27 Conflicting Answers and 1 Weird Conclusion by Derek Silvers
Short chapters, written like poetry, each one arguing with actionable directive why and how you should live according to one philosophy. e.g. ‘Be Completely Independent’, ‘Commit to One Career’, ‘Be Fully Present’, ‘Delay Gratification and Invest in the Future’. Very thought-provoking and made me realise how no one philosophy for living is the way.
🖼️ Exhibition - WEIRD SENSATION FEELS GOOD: The World of ASMR (The Design Museum, London until 10 April 2023)
A really fun couple of hours with a friend, learning about how subtle sounds (e.g. whispering) or images can magically create a sense of deep calm, euphoria or tingling in the body. This is an emerging field of creativity that designers and content creators have so much to learn from. Me included!
A Parting Poem 📝
HOW I BECAME A WARRIOR
Once, I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in.
Honour it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.
Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, "I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability".
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.
Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.
Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn't stop.
Thoughts that wouldn't be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.
Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, "Respect yourself fiercely now!".
"Speak your truth with passion!".
"Say no when you mean no!".
"Walk your path with courage!".
"Let no one speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.
Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was "happy".
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.
Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.
In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.
I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.
And started listening.
- by Jeff Foster