Conversations with Georgie #6: 5 Short Thoughts - Challenging Myself to Say More With Less.😂 💪
Plus: a podcast series on conversation, being fast and slow, getting addicted to stories, and realising difficult conversations are the way.
It’s getting cold and festive (4 weeks till Christmas!!) so this time I recommend wrapping up in a blanket with a mulled wine or hot chocolate to peruse these thoughts. Perhaps just 1 section or maybe you’ll be tempted to enjoy them all over 6 ish minutes.
👋Hello Friends,
I like words. I’m verbose in speaking and writing. And I struggle with being succinct. There, I said it!
Although I think you know this already, based on the long essays you have been receiving in Conversations with Georgie….
And because I like challenges and experiments, this time I’m writing less. Or at least write as much as I like then edit the hell out of it.
This month I’ve been delighted by your responses to these letters and am committing to writing because of you (1). After months or years of desire, I’ve finally released a collaborative podcast series about conversations (2). I’ve realised I am actually a fast and slow person, and started scheduling my life to make room for both (3). I’ve spent much of lockdown getting addicted to fiction - books, and series - and realised I missed it a lot (4). And I found myself having many difficult conversations, which I’m retrospectively grateful for (5).
So, being true to this challenge, I’ll stop there and simply invite you to peruse whatever curiosity directs you to.
Sending (Virtual) Hugs, Love & a Warm Smile,
Georgie 🤗❤️
✍️ 1. I Commit to Writing Because of You.
It seems like ‘going’ existential and sharing insights about life were a hit! I was pretty surprised and absolutely delighted that the last letter was such a hit for many of you. And responses to my last letters have been just as thoughtful.
🙏 So I want to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to not only consume many many words but to also get back to me with your reflections and the impact they might have made in your life. I thought I’d capture some of the wonderful things shared (below).
It is because of you that I believe I can be a writer. Or (putting aside the imposter inside of me) that I am a writer who would like to be an author.
❓So keep your thoughts coming! I’m grateful for any and all.
🎙️ 2. FINALLY a Podcast mini-series. Conversations about Conversations with Erica at the Reliants Project.
It finally happened. A conversation about conversations! Well, 4 episodes, actually.
Erica - who studies networks and runs The Reliants Project are I joined forces to create a mini-season, focusing on a key ingredient in building and cultivating networks: conversations. We introduce the basic ideas in this episode.
Context is everything in a conversation. And the choices we make differ dependent on what type of conversation we might have. So we created a host of different scenarios and then role-played them to see what would emerge….
How to have first-time conversations without too much context (e.g. meeting in a breakout room)
How to have conversations with there is a specific context (e.g. being introduced)
How to have conversations that maintain relationships and exchange value (e.g. catch-up calls)
Some key themes we explored:
Using statements to start a conversation
How to respond to ‘How are you?’ authentically, playfully, and with many hooks
What types of questions to ask to get deep answers
The value of sharing stories
How to build on each other’s ideas using statements
The benefits of the initial ‘exploring’ phase of the conversation to help connect dots later and why great conversations are not transactions
We had great fun role-playing conversations and not only discovered many different creative ways to talk but also a lot of similar interests and experiences we didn’t know about before - from architecture to Burning Man and annual reflections exercises!
When you hold a conversation goal loosely you open up the possibility of discovering what you don’t expect to find…
❓Curious to hear how you find these and what happens when you employ some of these strategies in your own conversations.
⌛ 3. Scheduling Going Fast & Slow.
When people ask me if I am busy, I don’t really know how to answer them. Some days my calendar is incredibly colourful (quite literally) with large blocks of time committed to hours of calls and tasks. Other days are completely clear, with nothing in them. And it’s all intentional.
I’ve realised I really enjoy going fast. Bashing through a long to-do list. Having hours of calls. Satisfying my need to be productive. The day has momentum and I feel a little like I am living on the edge… It’s thrilling. And fun. And in line with how everyone seems to describe their everyday lives.
But this busyness is not what I want every day. And not only can I not keep up that this speed every day without burning out, I actually don’t want to. I’ve realised I also enjoy going slow. I crave and love periods of aloneness for thinking, mostly. These are the times where I process what has happened, connect seemingly unrelated dots, work out how I feel, what I want, and then how to get there.
I used to think that I had to have one or the other. Now, I see there is another way; it is possible to schedule and optimise for both every week, but on different days. It is like the maker and manager schedule. We can create different rules or systems for different days. Here are a few of mine 📅:
No (scheduled) calls on Tuesday. Leaning into my desires in the moment, I think, I write, I walk, I learn and engage in deep work.
Wednesday is my Get Stuff Done (GSD) day, filled with calls and a long list of to do’s. Productive Georgie gets a real dopamine hit from this.
On Sunday I cut all caffeine, take an afternoon nap, and actively do as little as I can. Grumpy, tired and introverted me usually shows up for some of the day, but it means I’m fully refreshed by Monday.
Midweek I schedule a few hours to see close friends or family for some kind of meaningful conversation or an experience. This stops me from getting addicted to working, makes me travel and switch context, nourishes my soul, inspires creativity, and lifts my motivation levels for the rest of the week.
Twice a week I batch cook 3-4 meals. As well as ensuring I have enough (and a variety) of delicious fresh and frozen food to eat, I’m discovered that this mindful activity switches off my task mode and allows space for my mind to process, connect new ideas, and find solutions. Plus, I can catch-up on podcasts or conversations with family and friends.
❓What systems do you use to optimise your week?
📚 4. Re-Falling in Love with Stories.
I’ve re fallen in love with stories, with fiction. After years of obsessing over non-fiction books and not allowing myself to watch a series Amazon Prime or Netflix, I have given in, and realised that fiction connects with us in a totally different way than non-fiction. While non-fiction mostly tells us how things are, it cannot offer or bring to life alternatives as to how things could be.
Additionally, getting lost in another world, I found myself feeling a lot of empathy for characters that I might not normally relate to (research suggests that fiction increases our empathy skills). I saw myself, my friends, and my family in the characters’ behaviours, and then felt much more compassion both for myself and for the people in my life.
I read the whole Harry Potter series in under 3 weeks (and then watched my brother get lost in it too!). I’m already on season 4 of ‘This is Us’ on Amazon Prime (thanks Becca for getting me hooked - it is phenomenal). Both stories have highlighted how choices are always based on values, helping me rediscover mine and make better choices in my life right now. And as Dumbledore says, in the end, what is important is how and what you choose to do, not what abilities you have.
❓What fiction stories are you hooked on right now? Let me know if you’re inspired to pick up a story…. and what happens when you do.
5. Difficult Conversations Are The Way
This month has been one of those difficult conversations months. I’ve received and given feedback to others on the way we show up to each other, and how this impacts our relationships And then politically, I’ve seen people engage (or perhaps rant about) the conversations that have emerged in this subject.
As you might imagine, it has been intense and really hard at times - mostly because of the mental space these conversations take up, as we work out what could have gone better. Even though I have trained in Non-Violent Communication (NVC) and Authentic Relating, and am currently writing about this subject for an upcoming article (hello imposter syndrome) I have to remember that there are always opportunities that will stretch our abilities.
Sometimes, when these conversations don’t go well on the surface (because someone seems hurt, for instance) I feel regretful for having them. But then I am reminded that difficult conversations are not obstacles that we can ignore - they are the way.
We will only ever see through our lens of the world, and others will do the same, and those lenses won’t be the same. Neither will our values be the same or the way we interpret our values. Living a life truly aligned to our values means speaking up at the moment when something feels not right, in service of fostering a closer long term connection. We perhaps fear that others reject our whole self, when actually the fact they bring up difficult things is because they want to be in a relationship with your whole self, and something is getting in the way.
I was recently reminded by a previous student of mine that difficult conversations are some of the most important conversations we can have not just for connection but also when it comes to our own learning and growth - helping us become conscious of our own, potentially fixed, beliefs and seeing a deeper and wider perspective on the world.
❓What difficult conversations are you not having? What is holding you back? How can you have them more?
📖 A Parting Quote & Question❓
Quote:
‘‘Entrepreneur’s mind.
Athlete’s body.
Artist’s soul."
- James Clear
Question (let’s open some new doors of thought!):
What are the stories you tell youself about who you are or are not? How do you reinforce those stories each day through your thoughts and actions?