Conversations with Georgie #12: The Power of Strangers 😊💡 🔥
Plus: ✍️ Confirming the Final 30 Lists of 30. 💊 Energy Supplement Outcomes. 🤔 What I Learnt Delivering My Transformational Conversations Programme Virtually. A TV Appearance.📺 Being Imperfect.🤦♀
READ THIS FIRST. 👋 I originally started writing these letters (well, digital letters/ newsletters) in 2020 to share things I’m doing and noticing, experimenting with, learning and thinking about in the hope that it will plant seeds for future conversations, engineer serendipity and simply keep us connected in a more real and meaningful way than reading a status update on FB. What should you do with the letter? A) Choose the bit that calls you and have a read, noticing what thoughts or feelings show up B) If you actually read it, tell me! It is so wonderful to be acknowledged and this really inspires me to write more (and on time!!). And if something provoked you in any way, I want to hear your perspective.🙏 C) Leave it in your inbox or a special folder called ‘to read’ because life is busy right now, and then probably forget about it for many months. We’ve all been there. I even have one of those folders! 😛
👋Hello Friends,
I know I am late getting this email out to you.
Just a sign that I am pretty imperfect! Writing the list ‘30 Ways I am Imperfect’ for my 30 Lists of 30 project (see #2 below) has been an excellent opportunity to take stock and laugh at myself as I face many of my flaws.
I did that thing where I justified the late response by saying that a) I’ve been writing a lot of lists this month, finishing the Transformational Conversations programme (#3.1) (which is true and a partial excuse) and that b) no one will mind this being late because I don’t get to see your reaction, or that you just don’t read these emails anyway.
I know that that isn’t true and I’m making up bulls*** . These emails have been a beautiful conversation starter - for those I do and don’t know well - and I’m immensely grateful for that.
So, with sincere apologies, I’m sorry I’m late and hope that this contents of this letter might spark some thinking or actions.
As always, curious to hear what these are whether we know each other well or not. Strangers…. just friends you haven’t met yet.
Sending (Virtual) Hugs, Smiles & Love,
Georgie 🤗❤️
P.S. Because of the lateness of this email, I’ve decided to save the next letter until the end of August/1st week of September - which is when I will have published all 30 Lists. If you want to read them before then 👉 follow me on Medium.👈
1. The Power of Strangers 🔥
"Encouraging us to be xenophiles rather than xenophobes, Keohane proves again and again throughout this book that talking with strangers makes us feel better, that our nervousness around strangers relates to an irrational fear that doesn’t serve humanity, and that we lose more than we think we do when we choose the self-service checkout.”
The book ‘The Power of Strangers’ came out last week and I highly recommend it. I had the honour of working with Joe quite extensively in 2019, sharing my tools and philosophy on conversation. He was massively curious, eager to learn and even try out some of the stuff that didn’t feel intuitive or comfortable - which he did in leaps and bounds, starting conversations with stranger wherever he went, smiling at strangers in cities, even creating his own greeting ‘give them hell today!’! It is these personal stories, integrated with a clearly articulated explanation of some of my methodology, philosophy and character, and with a backdrop of scientific research on the challenges, benefits and history of talking to strangers, that makes it a compelling read. Plus, he writes in a witty, humble and personal way.
‘Nightingall’s free coffee, my Lebanese meal — these were not coincidences. As I learned repeatedly while testing techniques of talking to strangers, I’d often be rewarded with free food. There are, of course, far more fruitful, meaningful, and valuable reasons to talk to strangers. But the food stuck with me. Then I realized why: When you start a good conversation with a stranger, it’s like you’re giving them an uncommon gift. And more often than not, they want to give you something in return.” - Joe Keohane, How to Become a Master at Talking to Strangers, Entrepreneur Magazine.
He writes the book I haven’t yet written and has done a much better job that I could have done! I’m insanely grateful for including me in this book, and to Gillian who initially connected us (and is also in the book for her extensive research on interactions and strangers). 🙏
👉 Have a read and let me know your thoughts!
2. The Final (ish) 30 Lists I’m Writing & Publishing ✍️
Last month, I wrote about a project I am committing to to celebrate my 30th Birthday: writing (and publishing) 30 Lists of 30. And asked you for your feedback on which lists to write.
🙏 I can’t thank enough everyone who shared their thoughts. Your feedback and ideas really made me stop and reflect on 1) Who this project is for? 2) What level of vulnerability I am comfortable with right now? 3) How many amazing ideas there are to write about (the current spreadsheet has over 150 list ideas!!) and 4) How much social accountability I tend to feel when I share my ideas with the world, along with a due date!
And that due date in under 2 weeks. Yikes! (I’m publishing 1 per day from 1st August on Medium - follow me to read them). I’ve written most of the lists and now have the rather substantial, less-exciting work of editing them.
So you’re probably wondering which ones I decided to write?
Here they are…. ‘The Final 30 Lists of 30’
[Slight disclaimer: I might make a few last minute changes]
30 Reasons Why I’m Writing 30 Lists of 30
30 Ways To Have An Awesome Conversation
30 Questions I'm Living Right Now
30 Risks I Took & What I Learnt
30 Ways to Create and Cultivate Community
30 Considerations for Designing Meaningful Human Connection Experiences
30 Principles I Live By
30 Confusing Societal Messages I’ve Internalised About Who To Be
30 Questions I Reflect on Every Saturday Morning
30 Essential Items I Pack on Backpacking Adventures
30 Skills We Need But Don’t Teach
30 Things I’ve Learnt About Human Behaviour That Show Up Everywhere
30 Beliefs I Changed about Myself
30 Things I am Proud of Achieving Before 30
30 Ways I’m Totally Imperfect
30 Experiences (& Goals) For The Next Ten-ish Years
30 Mundane Experiences That Can Actually Be Quite Magical
30 Games I’m Playing in Life
30 Parts of Me
30 Things I Need to Let Go as I Move Forward into Next Chapter
30 Health, Productivity, Creativity and Happiness Optimisation Experiments I’ve Explored And The Life Hacks that Resulted From Them
30 Words or Phrases I Love
30 Journal Entries from the Last 30 Years
30 Deep Reflective Questions that Lead To Fascinating Conversations
30 Things I Never Used to be Grateful For But Am Now
30 Signs I am Most Definitely an Adult
30 Lessons From 5 Years of Entrepreneurship and Freelancing
30 Words To Describe Elements of My Pandemic Experience
30 Lists That Didn't Make it To The 30 List
30 Reflections Writing 30 Lists of 30
30 Things 30 People Shared Reading These Lists (appendix) - TBC
👉 I’m still deciding about this last one. However, if it does go ahead and you want to be one of those people, then please let me know here.
3. Life Updates and Curious Finds
I. Transformational Conversations - Course Reflections 🤔
The latest iteration (and first completely online version) of my Transformational Conversations programme was quite possibly one of my favourite teaching experiences. Which is kind of fascinating given my love for face to face interactions and learning. Here are some other things I learnt delivering the course:
It’s possible to create a virtual learning environment where course members across the world (4 continents) can feel deeply connected to each other, and also energised by 2 hours on zoom, even at the end of a busy day of work. In order to achieve this, however, a lot of intentionally designed structure and facilitation is required. Plus, planned time outside the weekly sessions to connect deeply and stay focused on completing the homework.
Compiling 3 days content into x6 2hr sessions means the pace of learning ramps up and there is reduced time to practice - a key ingredient to the experience. (I’m upping the time for the next programme this Autumn.)
A range of ages, backgrounds (location and work) and general life experience brings diversity to the group and with that a richer learning experience.
As my students informed me, this is not a conversation course, this is a course in increased awareness of self, others and contextual norms. Thanks!
Given how well the virtual format worked and the increase in interest from humans across the globe, I’m excited to say that ’ll be running the course again in the Autumn, and most likely 2+ cohorts virtually (maybe also in person) to hit all the various time zones and the increased interest I’ve received from the recent PR.
👉 Complete this 4 min form if you’re interested in applying to join or want to try a Taster workshop in Aug/Sep.
II. The Mitochondria-Supplement Experiment - Results 💊
You might be wondering how the mitochondria-building supplement ‘Exergenesis’ experiment from the last month is going? Does the fact that the three of us who tried it are buying a third more than our first batch give you the answer?!
All three of us (‘healthy’, ‘medium healthy’ and ‘ somewhat fatigued’) have noticed how much faster we are bouncing back after workouts or heavy workloads. My ‘no-caffeine Sundays’ are a lot less sinister (I’m now able to been fairly social on these days), I have less post-exercise fatigue generally and I’m sleeping more consistently (although that could be the effect of the increased exercise). And despite the high costs (£70 a bottle), I’ve managed to make it last for 2 months. All in all, a win! Recommended.
III. Imperfections 🤦♀
We often share our life highlights, and rarely talk about the imperfect stuff. I really enjoyed writing ‘30 Ways I’m Imperfect’ so thought I would share a few examples from this month that might make you realise that beneath the surface of ‘perceived’ success in this letter, I’m still a pretty normal human with plenty of faults.
I broke a cafetiere glass this week, and a mug a few weeks ago by just moving too fast. (not the first time either!)
This month has included a whole bunch of somewhat challenging and sensitive conversations with friends, collaborators, dates and strangers. They are not easy to have because there is no right or wrong, only subjective experiences of certain behaviours and outcomes. Feedback therefore can be hard to give and to receive as it sits in the grey zone. I care a great deal about this kind of stuff, and it is challenging to find the balance between being true to one’s needs and boundaries whilst also holding space perspectives that are very different. And recognising that there is responsibility (a much better word than fault) for both people to own their behaviours and communicate their assumptions and drivers. During my weekly reflections, I noticed how much emotional and cognitive load these kinds of interactions take up because there is always capacity to have done something better. I could have done some parts of these better.
I changed my mind twice about attending a gathering, adding to the logistical challenges of a very busy organiser.
I procrastinated like hell writing this letter which is why it is 20 days late.
IV. A LGBTQ+ Netflix Series I Recommend 🏳️🌈
Young Royals. Only six episodes (so easy to binge watch!) and really fascinating on many levels. There is the whole dichotomy between feeling the pride and honour getting to win the ‘royal family lottery’ versus just wanting a normal life. Plus, the challenges of coming out as gay. And finally, an interesting exploration when personal decision-making becomes more about the collective - the sake of something greater than yourself. All juicy themes.
V. Recent Articles & A TV Appearance 📺
It’s been a fun few weeks PR wise, with a wave of articles prompted by ‘The Power of Strangers’, which I am extremely grateful for as its created global interest in my work, and highlighted a conversations about the benefits at both a individual and societal level of talking to strangers.
TV:
GB News Live: ‘Freedom Day: How to Socialise After Lockdown’ [18th Jul]
(Fun back-story: Somewhat stupidly, I assumed this would be a radio interview and had to make a mad dash 2 mins before I went live to find a suitable backdrop for the interview that wasn’t my bed!).
Articles & Books:
Entrepeneur.com: ‘How to Become a Master at Talking to Strangers’ [7th July] (This long-form article includes large chunks from the book and a lot of the tools the author - Joe- learnt on my programme. This article has had great reach, appearing on Apple News and it even made it to the headline of Nir Eyal’s latest newsletter!)
The Sunday Times: ‘Help! I’ve Forgotten How to Talk to People’ [18th July]
Penguin Book: ‘The Power of Strangers’ by Joe Keohane [15th July]
IV. Being More Spontaneous and Overriding the Gut
A short question I’ve been exploring that you might like to as well: What happens when you don’t get a clear ‘yes/no’ gut answer, and just roll the dice?
I’ve often felt the need to have a clear ‘yes’ to make a decision on how to spend my time, for instance, but I’ve been wondering if actually ‘rolling the dice’, making more spontaneous decisions that aren’t grounded in a ‘hell yes’, might help me practice spontaneity and bring about more fun, novel opportunities and the unknown.
The pandemic taught us all that sometimes things don’t go to plan or the way we want, and yet sometimes creative things or new opportunities come out of that if we are prepared to let go of the disappointment and just go with some other thing.
👉 Curious is this is something you’ve been experimenting with too?
A Parting Quote 📖
‘‘To forgive is to set a prisoner free… and discover that the prisoner was you.’’
-Lewis B Smedes
Discovered in the epilogue of ‘Humankind: A Hopeful History’ by Rutger Bregman which I have just finished and loved. Thanks to Rebel Book Club for suggesting the book.